Today has been a really rough day...off of a really rough week! I was down to the wire at work to get a NEW logo created and cleaned up so that they could start using it NEXT week! Shit...no pressure! It is SO hard to be creative...when you are unhappy...I don't want to be where I am at work...I find it nothing but a STRUGGLE...and then no REAL help with concept. This is what I get:
Techy, Modern and Retro! Fresh!
Sure THAT clears everything up for me! GAH pull my friggen hair out...then this bit about shooting stars and fonts that look like they are moving...I try...I hate everything...I finally go back to the Techy, Modern and Retro and do my own damn thing...he wants it different and I tell him to HIRE A GRAPHIC DESIGNER! I am a fucking secretary that is unhappy!!!! You will be lucky to get anything DESCENT out of me!
Finally he see's my concept and today I cleaned it up and fixed it...including letterhead when my NEW boss says THAT IS NOT WHAT I AGREED THAT YOU WOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR...HE WAS SUPPOSED TO COME UP WITH EVERYTHING...
What the fuck? Has she never worked with him before???? Oh do what you want for christ sake! They can't afford for ME to do these things...I said good luck affording a REAL GRAPHIC DESIGNER! I rolled my eyes and left for the day!
I did this while answering the counter, answering the damn phones, dealing with promotionals and the people interviewing them, the chaos of the bullshit going on...the other flyers for new childrens programs, doing the normal everyday bullshit of the job, but hey...you can't afford me doing that! I give up...it is just not worth me putting it out there...I have to learn to let them fall on their ass and look like shit! Why should I care if they don't look their best? I am a sick girl!
Of course punching holes in my fatbook pages I screwed up several of them and I have to reprint now and most likly will have to mail on Saturday! Gah...
I haven't been sleeping and when I have I have nightmares of death...apparently I am still grapling with my thoughts of an afterlife or I wouldn't be stressing out this badly! I don't know if I am aftraid of dying or just afraid of what I will find out when I cross over!
One of my co-workers who just retired was diagnosed with breast cancer, the first surgery wasn't enough, so now she is going back in for a masectomy and radiation and chemo now! Sigh...another gal is retiring this month AND her cancer is back for the second time. Sigh... Dana Reeves dying of Lung Cancer, Linda S dying of cancer...I am just beside myself lately and I can't sleep!
Tomorrow is my darn MRI...Gah...I hope I will be able to lay there the entire time...without being in so much pain!
With all this stuff I have really started to miss my son. So I have to go see him soon!
The best thing that happened to me today, a really friendly Stranger-Friend, Vicci sent me a RAK, out of the blue...a wonderful fun and green frog to hang from a plant!!!! So I left the charming critter at work so he could cheer me up while I am there! I was so excited to find out that her middle name is Carmen! How funny is that! : ) Truly charming!