The Gypsy on Adventure

5 of Cups Reversed

Goals being slain!

I followed through with pulling a Tarot Card everyday last month! I am keeping it up and gleaning some powerful imagery and relating the cards to what is deeply going on in my life. Reading over the March entries, there is a bit of oh that is creepy, but more of that is SO amazing, resonating so strong with the struggles I am dealing with. It was all about my Grief, from my brother's death to wounds from family members.

My last card pulled for March was the 5 of Cups Reversed. Oooooof….all about moving forward from what was lost! Use grief as a force for good feelings of deep compassion and empathy. Thrust into a sacrid realm where the healing  capacity of emotions is allowed to work.  Use the force of grief as a force for GOOD. The cup is carved deeper by emotion which tears at the heart of your being, creating more space then to hold wonder, joy and grace. Deep compassion and empathy.

In my life, when I have dealt with deep soul cutting grief, I have always made the conscience decision to be "Better rather than Bitter". I am "better" for the disasters that have happened in my life. Molding me pliable for deep compassion and empathy for others going through what I have in my life. I believe if we share our stories of pain and how we have overcome it, it does give hope to others in the trenches of that kind of pain. 

Empathy. Ooof… I am an empath. It is painful and hard to be one. Some times I just cut off the chatter of it...other times I listen and move through it. It is exhausting and hard sometimes to feel my own shit because of it. It is the absolute reason why I hate being in big cities and love being more in the country. I don't have all of the bombardment of people hammering at me. Still learning how to ground myself and not be so hypervigilant of what is going on around me. I suppose I am still in denial of it...it was more astounding when I was a kid through the teen years, but I put it away when I had to be more conservative navigating my career years. So it is popping up more and more in my retirement. I could always feel a ripple in the universe and KNOW that something was going on with family members or those close to me...

Time to Revive many things in my life!

I am doing the Artfully Wild Blog Along, the Month of April, I needed a reason to kick start my writing again, even if it is just for me. 

So many radical changes in the last 3 years for me. Things I have learned through this time. I am finally feeling like I am standing on my feet again. Rise like the phoenix!  Allow yourself to flounder. Wander aimlessly. Figure yourself out no matter how old you are.

1. August 1, 2016, I retired from a job I had been at since 1984. How crazy that feels when I hear that out loud! I worked REALLY hard the last five years I was there to make sure that job did not define me as a person when I walked out the door. It now feels like a lifetime ago! Some times I miss the work, it felt meaningful. But I will always have the insights, lessons from humanity, but will most likely always have the hypervigilance that it gifted me! 
2. We packed up our house we were renting for 19 years and put everything in storage, and then took off driving around the country for 5 months. 
3. On September 11th of 2017, we got back home to California. We stayed with some good friends for a month while we searched for our forever house in the Sierra Nevada Foothills. We bought our first house talk about terrifying and surreal, I never thought I would be a home owner! We moved in on October 12, 2017. 
4. May 16, 2018, my baby brother Steve was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer (1 day after his 54th birthday)...I got to see him for a few hours in July, and by December 11th he was gone. (He lived in Joplin Mo so 3000 miles between us). He was my person. The one that never made me feel like an alien. The one that didn't judge me. The one that always had wise words... My brother Chuck thought I had it worse since I couldn't be there, but I have to say, there is no worse its just all bad when you lose someone you love.

Anyway, all those major changes had me pretty much frozen for awhile. Then I was gifted a Life Coaching experience and had 7-8 sessions and started to make plans for my art goals as well as my health and wellness goals! Last year I didn't do my online art classes...and I felt I not only wasted my money, but I didn't get to enjoy the experiences...I was working things out and adjusting to my new life in the Sierra's. And getting my strength back since living in a house that had mold, I was chronically sick.

So this year I got in on Effy Wilds 365 Course! And I wanted to keep up! I drilled down to what I really wanted, and I really want a body work by the end of December 2019!  I have been terrified of painting on Canvas...all those fears of "not being good enough", so I worked on that in my Coaching! Since January I have 3 completed Canvas painted! And starting a new one tomorrow! I am working in my journal and following my classes!

It is a lot of work, soul work! Stuff I would be writing out or obsessing in my brain is coming out on the page or the canvas. This year Effy is having collaborative artists for BOD (Book of Days) and that has been exciting as well. If you want to go deeper in your art work, join us. It has been an amazing experience. She is real. Take her as she is. And enjoy the ride. You don't have to do woo-woo, but there is sure a connection I am experiencing.

Art time

We stayed with Chris and Brian so Chris and I could go to her art meet up. Gail and Cory were there and Brian's sister, Sandra and her best friend Karen! Nice ladies! I worked trying to catch up in my journal. I am so behind! had a little lunch together and just played! It is so nice to meet women and find out you have so much in common!

We had a nice evening with Brian and Chris...before we take off for traveling...

Prep for party

Mizz V and I went to the store to pick up favors for the kids coming to the party tomorrow, and last minute decorations. It is going to be a Hawaiian theme, the baby loved Hawaii when they went last month.

I am getting annoyed not being able to find things. I am trying to consolidate my stuff...I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.

We cleaned the house some for the party tomorrow. Trying hard to just be flexible and go with the flow. I am starting to feel nervous about the party...

A beautiful reminder....on youtube site

 

It was a rough day.

This morning the girl flew out to go home to South Korea again. I get SO sad when she leaves because it is going to be a full year before we see her again...and this year for some reason it just feels worse. I hate it. I am happy SHE is happy I am bummed for us. 

 

I had an appt with the rheumatologist today...it wasn't good news. She believes I have Fibro. However, the only good news was that she didn't look at me like I had 3 heads...but my body has been dealing with my thyroid issues as well and menopause. It is SO hard to figure out what the hell is going on. She referred me to a Endo...so that is next...I am just tired of feeling this way.

The super cool Lindsay Planner from Adorn It came today! I am excited to work in this!!! I bought an extra one as well...it may be going to a cousin!  

It has every month with one of her moon girls with the month theme! And I am going to use it for my Tangie Baxter planner pages this year! So excited! 

Each one is on watercolor paper so you can color each month! So much fun!

 

 

David Bowie's new video came out...kinda creepy and I am trying to figure it all out...but it was disturbing to my soul!

My DLP

So I love how FAT my daily journal got in 2015...but I think I am going to just do straight journal and collage and not add a lot of the art and stuff in it this year....You can see the Pink 2016 journal...and can tell just how much I expanded...still not as fat as 2014 was! 

New Start for a New Year

It was time to get motivated for the New Documented Life Planner Art Journal with my Mountain Bitches! We get together in January to inspire and set up our jouranals!!! So much fun! Another year is starting!  This year I am keeping my planner in the Moleskine again and then Marilyn had made a junk journal and the person didn't want to buy it. So I bought it and I am going to use it for my Art Challenges!

Marilyn hosts us and we get spoiled! I missed Friday because a friends Retirement Party, but we eat, drink and are merry for 2 days...this time I had 1 day but I STILL feel refreshed and ready for journaling!

       


Here is the junk journal that Marilyn let me buy off her!

      

Pressure

I am thinking about all the things I decided to do this year.

So "I" decided to continue doing a yearly Daily Journal Planner again. I bought myself a very pretty Violet Moleskine. Then I bought myself a wonderful Dylusions Journal. I am keeping my Moleskine the planner part and the Dylusion journal as my prompts art journal...

AND I have all those other blank watercolor journals because besides doing DLP, I of course had to add MORE pressure with a monthly class with Tangie AND a YEAR long class Life Book 2015 with all these teachers!!! All I know is I better not flake on this one! I better watch the videos and get some things out of it called finished pieces of art! FOLLOW through is my new art name! Because I cannot waste my money!

Jane Davenport - http://janedavenport.com/
Joanne Sharpe - http://joannezsharpe.blogspot.co.uk/
Jenny Lee Wentworth - http://jennyleewentworth.blogspot.co.uk/
Violette Clark - http://www.violette.ca/
Chris Zydel - http://creativejuicesarts.com/
Danielle Donaldson - http://danielledonaldson.com/
Effy Wild - http://effywild.com/
Flora Bowley - http://braveintuitiveyou.com/
Alisa Burke - http://alisaburke.blogspot.co.uk/
Jessica Swift - http://www.jessicaswift.com/
Lynzee Lynx - http://lynzeelynx.com/
Jeanne Oliver - http://www.jeanneoliverdesigns.com/
Andrea Gomoll - http://andrea-gomoll.de/
Kristin van Valkenburgh – http://www.kristinvanvalkenburgh.com/
Jill K. Berry - http://jillberrydesign.com/
Alena Hennessy - http://www.alenahennessy.com/
Juliette Crane - http://www.juliettecrane.com/
Jenny Doh - http://blog.crescendoh.com/crescendoh/
Mati Rose McDonough - http://www.matirose.com/
Patti Ballard - http://www.pbsartstudio.com
Rachael Rice - http://rachaelrice.com/
Roben Marie Smith - http://www.robenmarie.com/
Andrea Schroeder - http://www.creativedreamincubator.com/
Lynn Whipple - http://www.lynnwhipple.com/
Donna Downey - http://www.donnadowney.com/

Oh and this WHOLE BUDGET thing...yes, this is the year folks the Gypsy gets out of debt. You can't do retirement in debt. This sucks...I am THINKING about everything I do. I have a spreadsheet. The thing that doesn't suck?  I already PAID OFF a big credit card that has been hanging over me! I now have less than 30% to go and its only January! I am stoked at the changes happening!  

OH and it is the year that the Torino will be restored and running! We decided to do stock and to make her a show car! I am putitng money aside every month and THIS YEAR she will be done!!! I am thinking of having Betty Boop painted on the rear fenders because I named her that when I was 12!  AND she is red!

It is all about GETTING THINGS DONE this year! Including getting rid of my clutter and I want to update my furniture. I want a nice big TV with a nice piece of furniture to put it in and close it off when not in use. I want things taken care of this year! It is time. Most of my stuff is used since I got my divorce 14 years ago, except my bed, and I want new, pretty and comfortable...its time.

DLP 2014

Saying good bye to an old friend to say hello to my new one! I am kinda going to miss my 2014 planner/journal!  I LOVED working in this journal and carrying it around all year!