I am not on FB that much anymore and usually only in the morning for a friends live. This morning I read the message from her daughter Robin, who is also my friend, that Carol left us Wednesday night...
I am grateful she is no longer in any pain, and that she can cause all kinds of good shit on the other side...but I am REALLY grieving. And the magic in the world is much dimmer today than it was before.
I call her the Pied Pipper of Fun! We could literally be anywhere, and she would be attracting fun people all around us! Soon we had more in our group laughing and for a short time learning about new people that didn't feel like strangers after. She was magnetic! AND she was SO talented with everything she touched. She was a magpie and loved all art things especially shiny! We could talk for hours and hours. And we would get really animated about art passions.
I loved her voice. I loved her stories. I loved her laugh. We could laugh so hard we would pee our pants! She always brought the best out of me. AND she fucking pushed me! One year she recruited me to be the artist speaker at the Marin Quilt Show. All my Crazy Quilts were hung up with everyone else's quilts on display, and I had to get on stage with a PowerPoint and talk about Crazy Quilting. She loved me and believed in me. And she loved my art.
When I struggled to figure out my life, she told me about her best friend since childhood, Donna, who was an amazing intuitive counselor and we figured out some big changes for me. And I was able to move on with my life. She adored WGB, she called him her Swedish Prince. (They are both Swedish.) And WGB loved her.
Carol was a pilar in my life since I met her. One of those powerful, loving women, who brought me back to trusting women. This was huge for me! In my 30s I sought out women friends for the first time in my life and was vulnerable enough to make women friends. She was always bigger than a best friend. And she just always mirrored love.
She taught us that you can have SO MUCH JOY in the middle of a shitty situation. That I can lean into that right now. It is a learned skill for me but seemed so effortlessly for Carol. We had a rough patch and moved through it because of the mutual love. So friendship has its ups and downs but love always remains. She had quick mind, and we could troubleshoot life together. She never shrank from any issue of life.
She was bigger than life and I know she is on the other side as well. She will always be with me...but I will miss her physically being in the world.
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