Here we go again!

Here we go again. Church and State is not being separated, stepping on other people's rights, religious bullies,  rhetoric for the sheep. Texas is disturbing.

Look it, you do not have the right to decide for other people HOW they will live their lives. It is not up to you! And I am really starting to be angry with how our Country is going. Am I passed having children, yes, but this is still very personal!

First off, at 17 years old I had my first baby, I had the options all laid out in front of me, and for ME, I wanted to keep him. I always say that having him saved my life. I made better decisions, looked after myself while pregnant, and had the best delivery I could do. I did lamaze and had him natural, I was a hippie mom, every thing natural. I got married when I was 18, I was on the pill and got pregnant (those were they days when you got sick and on  antibiotics would screw up the pill but we didn't know that), I was flabbergasted to find out I was pregnant again! We chose to keep her.

We were struggling. My ex was a year older, he wasn't making a lot of money, we struggled for everything. Every single day was drama and struggle. It was HARD. The wolf was always at the door, always.

I put my foot down. He was going to have a vasectomy. Why should "I" have a major surgery to prevent children when I had just gone through the worst birth ever with my second! 42 hrs of labour, she was feet first and I had her natural, 2 hours in I couldn't even talk and I had bruises down my back from holding on to the bed so tight, I almost died! I was a mess! AND clearly the pill did not work for me! I wasn't going to be pregnant again!

We went to the doctor together thankfully, to talk about him getting a vasectomy. The doctor said no! I raised my eye brow! What are you saying? He is too young the doctor said. He was 20 and I was 19. I said, we have 2 children! We are done! He was like no, I won't do it. Then the stupid reasoning. What happens if one of your children die and you can't have more children? Raised eye brow again. I am sorry but you CANNOT replace one child with another child! They are NOT the same child! That is stupid.

I said ok, then this is how it is going to go. I am going to hold YOU responsible for ALL the other children we have, and I expect YOU to send us money monthly to help feed all of the children that will come after we leave this office! I was on the pill and my children are 18 months apart! I expect in about 9 months there will be a third.

The doctor looked at me horrified. I wasn't kidding. I wasn't budging. I was 19 fucking overwhelmed and I was not leaving without an appointment for my ex husband. We got the appointment! He had a vasectomy!

I am fucking sick of people telling other people HOW to live their lives! They don't help those women when the babies are born! And if they do get State aid, they shame them for being on it! So shut the fuck up! I don't see compassion for those that have to deal with a child in incest or rape. I don't see the punishment for men that are JUST as responsible for making a baby. And then have your neighbors turn on you for money! This is the lowest of the low, especially to poor women who have limited choice as it is! Lets face it, women with money can leave the State and deal with the issue any where. Poor women cannot, you are boxing them in and putting them at more risk! And why should ANY woman be trapped because you don't like something!

If it is not YOUR choice, that is fine! You live with the choices YOU make! Do not force others to live by YOUR choices!  

Like Mr. Rodgers said, I am looking for the helpers!

Blogging with Effy Wild

 

Comments

[Nolwenn]

I do not live in the States but this shit is making me really angry.
I think I am maybe too naive or something because I can't understand how this can even be a discussion. How come they are coming back in time making these stupid decisions for others.

Good for you to stand your ground at 19!

[Lisa]

Amen sister!!
I agree with you 1000%
I know of a male who is in his 30's. Has chosen that he doesn't want children that he can't take care of. Tried to do the right thing and get the snip. And the doctors told him NO because he was single, childless, and might change his mind later. He tried to advocate for himself to get it done and they still refused until he was at least over 35. And still if/when he tries to argue for it again, they will force him to get counseling first. SMH!!!
YAY for you for standing your ground. More people should do exactly what you did and turn the tables on these people.

[Carmelita]

Nolwenn I live here and I don't understand it other than the far right religious people trying to control the masses! It was HARD to stand up for myself, but my grandma who raised me, had 10 children! I wasn't going there!

Lisa! He has the right to choose! I don't understand doctors! There is always adoption if you change your mind, or if you want kids in your life you can be a big brother or a great uncle! They don't have to come from our bodies!

[Donna Holmes]

oh wow, im in the UK and hearing of whats happening again now. THis sort of thing makes me SO mad. So many decisions made by men for women, its not right not one little bit. I never had children, thats another story, but im a stepmum and I have already started the discussions with my SD that we will help protect her against unwanted when she is old enough to begin that part of her life, and the discussion with SS that HE should take responsibility when he is old enough... Gee we live in a modern world dont we?

[Jean]

Yes I am furious too! After I had my son and went into Post Partum Depression I didn't want anymore children. I'd practically raised my brothers & sisters and I was DONE. Went to get fitted for a diaphragm but the effing Catholic Dr said NO! WTF? I went to another and got one. BUT I got pregnant using a diaphragm and a condom. I never did figure out how that happened. I spent the rest of my fertile life fearing another pregnancy. I'm past that but it still matters to me. NO ONE has the right to tell a woman what she can or cannot do with her body!

[Effy]

I'm so furious over Texas. <3 I'm right there with you.