Time to Revive many things in my life!

I am doing the Artfully Wild Blog Along, the Month of April, I needed a reason to kick start my writing again, even if it is just for me. 

So many radical changes in the last 3 years for me. Things I have learned through this time. I am finally feeling like I am standing on my feet again. Rise like the phoenix!  Allow yourself to flounder. Wander aimlessly. Figure yourself out no matter how old you are.

1. August 1, 2016, I retired from a job I had been at since 1984. How crazy that feels when I hear that out loud! I worked REALLY hard the last five years I was there to make sure that job did not define me as a person when I walked out the door. It now feels like a lifetime ago! Some times I miss the work, it felt meaningful. But I will always have the insights, lessons from humanity, but will most likely always have the hypervigilance that it gifted me! 
2. We packed up our house we were renting for 19 years and put everything in storage, and then took off driving around the country for 5 months. 
3. On September 11th of 2017, we got back home to California. We stayed with some good friends for a month while we searched for our forever house in the Sierra Nevada Foothills. We bought our first house talk about terrifying and surreal, I never thought I would be a home owner! We moved in on October 12, 2017. 
4. May 16, 2018, my baby brother Steve was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer (1 day after his 54th birthday)...I got to see him for a few hours in July, and by December 11th he was gone. (He lived in Joplin Mo so 3000 miles between us). He was my person. The one that never made me feel like an alien. The one that didn't judge me. The one that always had wise words... My brother Chuck thought I had it worse since I couldn't be there, but I have to say, there is no worse its just all bad when you lose someone you love.

Anyway, all those major changes had me pretty much frozen for awhile. Then I was gifted a Life Coaching experience and had 7-8 sessions and started to make plans for my art goals as well as my health and wellness goals! Last year I didn't do my online art classes...and I felt I not only wasted my money, but I didn't get to enjoy the experiences...I was working things out and adjusting to my new life in the Sierra's. And getting my strength back since living in a house that had mold, I was chronically sick.

So this year I got in on Effy Wilds 365 Course! And I wanted to keep up! I drilled down to what I really wanted, and I really want a body work by the end of December 2019!  I have been terrified of painting on Canvas...all those fears of "not being good enough", so I worked on that in my Coaching! Since January I have 3 completed Canvas painted! And starting a new one tomorrow! I am working in my journal and following my classes!

It is a lot of work, soul work! Stuff I would be writing out or obsessing in my brain is coming out on the page or the canvas. This year Effy is having collaborative artists for BOD (Book of Days) and that has been exciting as well. If you want to go deeper in your art work, join us. It has been an amazing experience. She is real. Take her as she is. And enjoy the ride. You don't have to do woo-woo, but there is sure a connection I am experiencing.

Part of my daily practice is doing a Tarot Card pull every day, I am using the new deck I bought in December, The Starman Tarot, inspired by David Bowie, and so far, the card I pull every day, is creepy real to what is happening in my life. I know that some people who reviewed these cards didn't like them, too flimsy, hard to shuffle, but I love the imagery, connection to David, and the book of meanings...I am feeling like I am being brought home again. So often I became less than for other people in my life, (Not WGB), and now who I am is breaking free from the constraints of where I was. Lots of growth is happening. I am dealing with the ambiguity of my feelings of "religion", and exploring what I once believed more deeply, its more organic and real. I have never been comfortable in mass religion. 

What was today's card you ask? That would be the 8 of Cups, The 8 of Cups suggests there is much wisdom in guidance to be gained wherever you are if its your intention. Creating sacred space to sit in nature, away from the habitual rhythm of life may also be very valuable; as the having and doing fall away, the being is left. In this culture we are conditioned to do the opposite: to focus on what we must have materially in our lives and do the work to manifest it in order to be happy. Be happy and let everything else find its place!

Again this card is resonating with me today. Changing myself, drilling down to the real wants, and letting go of things that just don't work for me anymore. 

I have missed blogging, I have missed reading the Tarot, I have missed my art, and today I start a full month of blogging and moving my goals further along.

I end this post with the acknowledgement of my dad's Birth Day, we had a 2 hour talk, and catch up...thinking of you... and glad that I can say I am 30 lbs lighter and 3 sizes down so far. This photo was taken on July 19, 2017, I didn't wear make up because that was the morning we were heading out to see my brother Chuck in Mississippi, and saying good bye to him. Of course I cried like an idiot! Living 3000 miles away, you never know if it is the last time you will see each other!

 

 

I'm blogging along with Effy Wild in April. If you'd like to join the Facebook group to read the rules, go here!

 

Comments

[Effy]

Thanks for the lovely review of Effy365! I'm glad you're in there with me, and that it is getting you going on your body of work! xo

I'm also here with hugs for all you've been through. SO many changes!

[Amy Everett]

I'm excited for you and your art goals. Can't wait to see what you create 💜

[Jayme T Hunt]

I'm also looking forward to seeing your work. Seems like we're on a similar journey...

[Rachel]

Wow! So many big things. I am glad you are doing more of the things you missed...my tarot card was Strength today (and ace of cups fell out).

[Lisa]

I am loving your art goals and look forward to hearing more about your journey. The canvas scares me too. I have only one that I created but I have several blank waiting for me to take the plunge, if I could just find the courage.
I can relate to the part about making yourself small for others. That is one of the things I am trying to work through. I'm also working on Effy's dig deeper challenge from last week's video.

[Gypsy]

Effy!
I still get all giggly and butt wiggles when you acknowledge me! I feel like a stalker! Because you are like a Rock Star! LOL

Thank you for your generous spirit and the art classes!

[Gypsy]

One of the things I tell myself all the time Lisa, is if I don't like it I can gesso over it! I cannot treat it like precious or I am frozen! Slap that paint on! I feel so free now and you should too!

[Gypsy]

Amy!
Thank you! I love that there is movement again in the deep work!

[Gypsy]

Jayme.
I am glad I am not alone on my journey! Thanks for being on the same road with me!

[Gypsy]

Rachel, I giggled reading the Ace of cups fell out with your card pull...oh so sneaky!