Grateful that he loves me enough to support me, hold me, let me be me,
let me grieve. He takes care of me. All dressed up for a horrible day
that went as well as it could. He is by my side when things are great, and takes care of me so sweetly when I am not in a place to do it all myself. He bought a nice outfit FOR Lucy, he wanted to honor her as the wonderful woman HE knew and to show respect to her husband...I wore my Victorian outfit, top and skirt with laces and buttons.
Before we went to the memorial, he took me to see the sea, and then to this little family run diner right there near the funeral home, and we had a nice breakfast, the food was really good, and having some time to settle before we had to walk in was good for me. Gave me time to settle and have a good cup of coffee too.
He held me close while we stood in the back of the room, for Lucy's memorial. So many people. I wanted to talk, but just could not find my voice. Carol was able to stand and thank Roy for taking such good care of her. There would have been SO much I wanted to say, to share, to talk of her love.
I felt myself so many times, reaching a point of panic, and then I would feel WGB right behind me, hold me closer, physically telling me I was alright, we would get through this, without a word spoken. He knows when and how to comfort me. He drove me to the house, we were there for quite some time. But I found myself having some panic attacks without her there...WGB set up the frame, and moved it so people could see it... I couldn't eat, but I had some coffee and then we left...I had to go...too many people...too much grief.
It was nice and I was able to get a contact with one of Roy's friends incase we need to check up on him. I loved sharing a moment with his daughter Cindy. And I hope I can see her before she goes home.
During the drive there and back a good 4 hours I knit on the scarf. I have had to rip this out about 4 times, when I grieve and cry, it is
hard to keep my count right! It seems to grow when I am not looking!
But it is my thinking about Lucy scarf...so it is meant for me to do
that I think... maybe never to be finished at this point...but a comfort.
I haven't been able to control the crying, it just comes, some times really loudly and others just tears uncontrollable running down my face. Its ok, I will just let it happen.
"Karma illustrates the circular energetic nature of the universe. Energy doesn't move in a linear format, but rather arcs back to itself as a vibration in an ever widening, narrow and concentrated circle.
(sounds like Gratitude)
Every energetic impulse that the self projects eventually returns to the self, precisely the way it was issued out."
"Karma, a gift from the universe, provides a guideline for the Soul's evolutionary curve. It is the road map through which the self describes the specific journey of the Soul in this particular lifetime. Ultimately fair, karma establishes cosmic justice. The Law of Karma is EXACT... Karmic Law dispenses the lessons which are uniquely tailored to the individual student."
- KARMA' the Soul Connection By: Elizabeth Joyce
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