Todays self-portrait is revealing! Snort! Who knew you could see through the top to my leopard bra! Esh! I had to fix that at lunch! Grin Holding the same weight...but I am at least NOT gaining! I am trying to take what Angela told me on my Flickr and sit with it...Such kind words with healing balm...
The title on my 06/20/07 self-portrait was Still not seeing a difference...Sigh, and Angela said "but you are still VERY beautiful...don't worry so much..exercise to make yourself feel good and know..even if you aren't the size you want to be...that people see you as this wonderful gorgeous woman...my husband was just up here and I showed him one of my friends...i said isn't she cool?..he said.."oh yeah!..and she is a happy woman"...we were talking about you! Gypsy...you really are beautiful and you always look so lovely in your fun and way cool outfits...i am so inspired by you...i have made at least 4 outfits and have acquired many more just because of you...i want to feel good now...regardless if i am much larger than i want to be...and i figure if some one that is the same size and weight as me...looks so fabulous...then i am going to try my best to look good now too!"
Oh how Angela made me cry! What healing wonderful words!
I Thanked her so much for her kindness! AND her hubby too! I am trying to do stomach crunches, my goal 100 a week! Every day an average of 25, so at least I am getting there! I do them on the Bean! Best silly exercise thing I ever bought! It doesn't hurt my back! I am trying to strengthen my core and floor work is hard for me. Although MOST of yoga last Tues was divine!!! The last 5 minutes laying on my back did not work for me. I can't.
I AM a happy woman! I am glad it shows! Even if I am not at my goal weight, I am VERY happy I did not go over the 204! I am holding! The 5-6 lbs I lost before the shot came back, but I will take it! As long as you say, I stay the same and not gain! I feel good about that!
I am SO honored I inspired her! I try to live in truth and I am SO happy I have done that for her! I am SO glad she have made 4 outfits!!!! Can you believe that! Awesome! AND have bought more! It is so important to visually be ourselves as women and artists!
That is me too...I don't want to dress like a fat woman, well minus any mini skirts I am just too old for that! But fun clothes are a must! I am just so happy from your words Angela! Seriously moved to tears! So often I put myself out there and just hope people won't laugh in a bad way! I do believe if we have confidence in ourselves, are kind to ourselves, and believe, the pounds will shed!
We do have wonderful lives! : ) AND I don't want to be one of those women who are SO obsessed with their weight they are either always angry because they are hungry, even if they are skinny, they are MEAN. You have met THOSE kind of women! No substance in their head, heart or bones! I want to be happy if I am chunky and happy if I am thiner! AND most of all I just want to be healthy!
AND my boyfriend loves me at any weight...I should just rejoice in that! I have promised him to stop talking badly to myself, embrace my size good or bad, and not let it inhibit me! My boyfriend hates the way I talk to myself and view myself and it does get in the way of me feeling appealing in any way! THAT has to stop!
What am I doing?
- Walking 15 minutes at a time
- Yoga 1 hr a week
- Crunches on the Bean (100 a week)
- Eating better...and eating breakfast every day
- Self-acceptance at the size I am at! every day
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