When I saw this on Carolyn's blog...I had to post it too...[her link] What a great post I think! How do you feel about that question? Where do you land on the scale of 0-10? De-lurk and post a comment! : )
On being your true self
Yesterday, when I went to help Alex and Ruthy (a la Pedal People) at their soon-to-be new old house, Ruthy and I were alone working in the same room. While I was scrubbing walls (which Ruthy warned contained lead paint but added should be okay so long as I didn't lick it), Ruthy asked me all sorts of questions about myself and my past. (Questions like, "What have been some empowering moments in your life," a question I find more difficult than, "What is your opinion on the political economy of the aboriginals of Bora Bora during the 1500s?") It felt strange for several reasons.
I don't recall anyone ever being so curious about me. When it didn't make me feel queasy, it felt quite nice.
I have always been a prober myself. I like to get inside people's guts and minds--to understand them (as best I can) and what makes them tick or not tick. So I'm very often asking questions myself. I've never before realized it may actually make people queasy.
I also could come up with only one "empowering moment," and it's now a moment I'd rather forget. Not forget, I guess, but it's one I now see as rather bogus. I do feel I've had more than a few "defining moments," but none of them good. How sad is that?
Perhaps my biggest realization was that I don't feel like I am me. I've actually realized this before, but this time it hit home with a home run rather than a base-by-base play. I'm a modified me. I'm modified as much as I can possibly modify myself to suit other people. (I should work much harder at this, since my modified me doesn't suit too many, either.) I wonder if I will ever let myself be me. I'm getting to be quite an old dog, and that's a very new and tricky trick.
I wonder if everyone feels, to some degree, they are a modified version of themselves. To my three readers: Do you feel you are a modified version of yourself? On a scale of 0 (none) to 10 (completely), how modified do you think you are from your true self?
Yesterday, when I went to help Alex and Ruthy (a la Pedal People) at their soon-to-be new old house, Ruthy and I were alone working in the same room. While I was scrubbing walls (which Ruthy warned contained lead paint but added should be okay so long as I didn't lick it), Ruthy asked me all sorts of questions about myself and my past. (Questions like, "What have been some empowering moments in your life," a question I find more difficult than, "What is your opinion on the political economy of the aboriginals of Bora Bora during the 1500s?") It felt strange for several reasons.
I don't recall anyone ever being so curious about me. When it didn't make me feel queasy, it felt quite nice.
I have always been a prober myself. I like to get inside people's guts and minds--to understand them (as best I can) and what makes them tick or not tick. So I'm very often asking questions myself. I've never before realized it may actually make people queasy.
I also could come up with only one "empowering moment," and it's now a moment I'd rather forget. Not forget, I guess, but it's one I now see as rather bogus. I do feel I've had more than a few "defining moments," but none of them good. How sad is that?
Perhaps my biggest realization was that I don't feel like I am me. I've actually realized this before, but this time it hit home with a home run rather than a base-by-base play. I'm a modified me. I'm modified as much as I can possibly modify myself to suit other people. (I should work much harder at this, since my modified me doesn't suit too many, either.) I wonder if I will ever let myself be me. I'm getting to be quite an old dog, and that's a very new and tricky trick.
I wonder if everyone feels, to some degree, they are a modified version of themselves. To my three readers: Do you feel you are a modified version of yourself? On a scale of 0 (none) to 10 (completely), how modified do you think you are from your true self?
OMG Doesn't it depend on who you are with.
I am one person at work. Another when out with different groups of friends, and yet another when I'm with my family.
I guess that'd make me like a 5.
Just call my Sybil!
Posted by: Heathen | Tuesday, July 26, 2005 at 08:07 PM