To be commissioned or Not to be commissioned that is the question!
Not as deep as Shakespear but deep for my life! Life can get complicated fast, ever notice that? Here I am whining about how I haven't put my art work as a priority in my life, my real job has taken over my life, real life has taken over my life with menial tasks, my own complacency has taken over my life!
Then BOOM - my art life explodes! I committed myself to a fabric swap! Scary and facinating! I committed myself to creating a Tarot Deck and I have no idea why! or what these cards are all about...just to create art!
Now here is the 3rd fascinating irratant with my art life exploding! My boss approaches me yesterday about being commissioned to do a Crazy Quilt for his Rotary Club! They are turning 80 as a Service Club and he brought me in this year as a speaker and presenter on Crazy Quilting and Freeing Yourself for your Real Life! And he would like to have me use their various banners in a Crazy Quilt to represent their Chapter!
Egads!
FEAR ... Compliment ... FEAR ... Compliment ... FEAR ... Compliment ... FEAR ... Compliment ... around my head it goes!
He thinks I am too generous because I offered to do it for supplies...but they could NOT afford to have to pay for it. One small, 12x12 art quilt I did cost me $300 to make! How do you put a price on your work? I am not a professional artists who charges for her work! I only have less than a 3rd of what I have EVER made...I have given it all away!
Plus if they paid me I would have to add that to my taxes! UGH... I also told him that if they paid a Professional Artist for art...usually it is the cookie cutter way of doing things for a profit...no passion. I am a LOCAL artist and how cool would it be to have one of my pieces hanging at a Rotary Club???!!!! Pretty cool I think! The club actually LOVED my Shoreline Park Quilt...that is what is pictured in this entry.
I don't know...have to contemplate some more...
Maybe I am truly frightened of making a success out of my ART...I have to look deeper into this fear. Eventually when I retire from my job in 9 years, I have to be ready for my art life! A little of dabbling with presentation speaking like I have been doing, teaching classes...sporatically...and getting commissioned is my goal ... why the fuck am I hesitating except for PURE FEAR...like not publishing my books...FEAR ... FEAR... FEAR... get over it already who cares if "people" don't accept your art or voice!
Sigh Fucking Inner-Critic needs to be killed!
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