Hum. Tonight I was thinking my Dad's mother, who I am going to visit in August, was my age today when I was born! That was strange...hum... I am Middle Aged. I don't think that is a bad thing. I have so enjoyed my 40s! I was so unhappy in my 20s and 30s! I have such freedom from so many things it is hard to complain!
But truly...we need to think differently in this society...Middle aged...Its good! : )
What is funny is here I am talking to my son on MY birthday and he is freaking out about his age! LOL Life is ironic! He thinks his life is over at 25 and me I am JUST starting my life at 43! I tried to tell him age is just numbers...if it bothers you so much don't acknowledge the number! He is behind on every thing he wanted to do...regret's...regret's...regret's. His youth is gone! Oh Sigh, so dramatic! Even with him coming through my body he is so different than me, that always strikes me in conversations like these. I have no regret's, I don't believe in them. Every thing, good and bad, all the decisions I made before I got to here...got me to here! I am a happy woman!
Generally. Oh sure I am pensive at times, I brood with anxiety at times, and I ride the waves of my passion, but I take that all into account because I am an artist...artist's and creative people are passionate! And we have anxiety about everything! Just read peoples blogs that are artists...there is a universal theme...we all battle with some thing.
And the key thing is that I have Michael who rides the waves of my passion with me, who loves me UNconditonally, truly, he does not want me to change any thing but my low opinion of myself! : ) Which he has been working on for the last 20 years! We have been friends a very long time! And he adores me, how can a person not bloom when some one adores you and is UNconditional?! It is impossible! So...my 40's are good! I am happy to be here...This is HUGE for me, since I did not think I would live past 18...I had a mini mid-life crisis at 20...what the hell was I going to do with the rest of my life! LOL I had two kids, married, struggling ... this all I have now, this is all gravy!
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