And, so it begins...watching This Week with George Stephanopoulous on ABC...where you cannot get a straight answer from Conway, the media has their facts and they have Alternate Facts! 1984 was NOT a play book dear one, it was a book of caution!
All I can say...is you can't make this shit up! this is just so ironic with my confliction! LOL Burn them all I say! Here take mine! The last few weeks have been filled with such ironic issues I have to laugh. This helped.
My friend from work is living her dream. She auditioned for a role in the stage production of HAIR in San Jose. AND she got it! This is amazing! All of her life she has wanted to sing and dance and she is living out loud with her dreams in hand!
It is hard for a woman in 40s to get into this so late in life, but when you are open, bubbly and a happy person the doors can open! AND open wide they did! And she was so brave with the nude scene...here she is on stage with people in their 20s and she stood there brave and bold holding her own quite nicely!
I took one of my best friends, Fanabella, to the play and we SO enjoyed it! I cannot believe it is FORTY years ago that I first saw the play! Until I sat there as an adult verses a small child watching what was happening! I had forgotten or had never "got" that it was so political AND SO meaningful for today as well!
It is like flash forward FORTY fucking years and we are in the SAME FUCKING PLACE! We have another war that is not declared a war and our men and add to it our women dieing in a foreign land for what? I fail to understand it. And as the actors dressed as hippies screamed out Hell no we won't go the late 60s and early 70s rushed back in the memory of my muscles and spirit.
AND the songs...I have to look as an adult now and wonder what the hell adults thought of me singing that entire album when I was 6...some of those songs are so offensive! In fact I sat there in the front row just amazed at the words in some of the songs...like Colored Spade....yikes I hate those words and they are so offensive...I understand why they are there in the play but I just don't like it and found it repulsive.
The seating I got was a table...I didn't know what that meant...well it was the FRONT row! If you know me, you know I don't like being in the front row of anything THAT is where they pick on you...and we got UP CLOSE with the actors and at the end a rather good looking kid wanted me to get up and dance...oh I would have if I felt better! But no I just wanted to blend into the wall! LOL
You know some times life is just brutal. Today was just one of those days. One hit from life after another. You know the kind of day that kicks the shit out of your self-esteem and cuts you to your soul. Makes you second guess every move you have made and makes you wake up from sleep walking!
Hum... I guess the best thing about it is the reflection I have to do on my life. It is good to reflect on where you are and how you got there...
Be ACCOUNTABLE to yourself...
ADMIT what went wrong...
WHY you weren't paying attention...
LISTENING to the universe as to what was happening...
And CHANGING what you were doing so as NOT to get into trouble...
But when you ignore the signs, when you are not accountable to yourself things can spin. So I am spun. Eh, its ok I am going to shake it off and start over.
It is never to late as long as you take the first step to change! God knows I have done a lot of that! Suck it up and put on my big girl panties!
Most of all relax, own it and move on!
So tonight the first steps.
I have set up "A Law of Attraction - Dream Journal" putting in it VERY specifically what I want to attract in my life, what I want to accomplish so I can SEE it...Believe it...and receive it!
Set up Quicken Financial Program (I bought it in 2005 and never used it!). This way I will be accountable for my finances instead of feeling shame and out of control, I will take control and KNOW every cent...and go by a budget! No more frills until I reach my goal.
It was a long day, AND an unexpected meeting when I was getting off of work, had to reschedule my bone crusher...which she was great and let me come in late!
Boy I feel better after the adjustment! I even remembered to drink 2 glasses of water afterwards! AND we had a great conversation. Some things were buggin me AND I got to talk to her about them and I feel kinda better!
I received my Artchix order...YUM...and I received some new zines in the mail! And I was able to locate some Halloween fonts!!!! For my art work! That was good.
I'm still angry about what is occurring with the disaster...I can't express it right now.
I heard from a few of my friends today, but I haven't been able to email them yet. Sigh. I can't believe it is 11 pm and I am beat and need to go to bed...no time tonight for art. Maybe I will read a new zine and fall asleep with out nightmares tonight.
Tomorrow I am heading to the beach community I like, I am having breakfast at a cute little place there and going to my favorite shop and heading for the waves to sit in the sand and read! I need a break!