I am trying to keep my healthy eating and walking up even in the stress of family stuff and the process of letting go...
Today I looked like a Vampire in my shadow! LOL Today...I passed my goal again...4,291 steps! As long as I hit the 3000 mark I am happy! That is about a mile and a half...building it up!
Today we found out that Retired Captain John Tomac passed away, luckily after a short illness. Its amazing to me that he retired in 1986! It sure doesn't seem like that long to me! I was working in the Fire Deparment then, but he was always nice to me. 25 years? Really? He still lived in town and had a rich, rich life! He never defined himself by what he did for a living!
You will be missed by those that admired you, knew you, and those you touched in your community!
Well nothing like spending an entire day with Migranes! gah! I keep getting those ocular things! Makes me crazy! I called a bunch of places...my dad is saying he will take care of things...and then of course he doesn't...he has the worst record for doing what he says he will do. sigh.
I don't know...I can only do so much and now I just have to let it go...I did the leg work...
I decided to start a canvas to get some feelings out about my grandmother and try to calm myself down...I used her parents and some siblings...its not done but a work in progress...just to get some feelings out...this part has to dry now anyway.
I didn't sleep very good last night...and I felt like a zombie at work today...I did get a lot of work done and the day flew but I felt like I was in a fog. I was able to research some funeral homes and lawyers on my breaks so I am taking Monday off to see if I can connect with these people.
My brother contacted me...and he is looking into several places as well and found a place to get urns at a good price and minature ones so we can have her with us too. I just want to have it taken care of so we know what the hell to do when the time comes.
When I talked to dad he said that she sleep pretty good last night...woke up around 9 am...I am glad she is finally getting some sleep! I talked to him again about getting some anxiety medication for her.
Oh! No wonder I have been profoundly sad and depressed this week...as of yesterday Lucy has been gone for 3 years...
Native American Prayer I give you this one thought to keep - I am with you still - I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the sweet uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft starts that shine at night. Do not think of me as gone - I am with you still in each new dawn.
This is grandma Mary when she was young, I was 12...
Shit. REALLY? I am just dealing today with Lucy and my dad calls, it was THE worst 30 minutes...my grandma, the one who is 93, was diagnosed today with Pancreatic cancer...like Lucy.
REALLY? She is going to have to battle THAT demon? They can't do surgery to open the duct so they have to go down her throat to get to it and put a stent in IF they can... I am completely a mess! This is not good.
I told my dad to call the doctor and get anxiety medication for her, she can't sleep, she was always in denial that she would die at all, let alone by cancer! Tomorrow I have to find out who in their area does cremation because my dad has no idea, and we need to get things set into place before its too hard to handle. Reality bites. I just know we don't have much time. I am profoundly sad and depressed.
The process of letting go of our loved one's is hard, and it it hard for them to let go...When she talked to me it broke my heart! She said "I was so worried about having to tell you....I don't want to upset YOU!" OMG! She is the cutest!
What an awesome day! Got up early...the house was warm, made some French roast...watched Supernatural...then off to meet up with Sarah! We went and saw Iron Lady (not sure how I feel about it yet), the movie made me sad about her, and I did fall in love with her husband! For how staunch she was he was silly and full of life!
Then we had brunch at The Village Bistro, I had the Butternut Squash Ravioli and Sarah had their Eggs Benedict...we sat outside because there was no room inside...and we froze our asses off! It was cold out there! LOL and then a stop at Maido where I always buy too many pens, and journaly things! LOL LOVE We also went to Sur Table and I found some cute red kitchen stuff! I am a slut for red kitchen items!
I was a little disappointed, I thought I might have lost MORE than what I did...but since getting serious with WW and the exercise last week, I kept within the points and I lost 2.6 pounds! I was hoping for 50! LOL not really but I was hoping for more. I have to keep up the motivation!
Well although I sat here at my computer this morning at 6:30 am BLINKING! Wondering HOW was it time to go back to work, the day went by pretty fast, and I even remembered how to use the new phones!
I walked on both my breaks...I had to do some shopping and pick up some healthy food to start my new year off right at work. Another change today, I had breakfast at home, even though I couldn't eat it all, I am trying to eat in the morning!
7,078 steps today! WOW! not bad for a work day! Not bad for a fresh start!
Today I heard from Rena..."I have been LOVING my purple scarf of love, it's so beautiful.....I thought the skein was so pretty...but had noooo clue it would knit up into something like that, sooo cool. I really can't thank you enough Carmen, such a treasure, both you....and my scarf..... xxxx"
This is the yarn her mom had in her stash, last year her passed away, Rena gave me this yarn when we met up at Lindsay's house in October! I made her a small scarf and this large one! There was also enough to make my cowl hoodie!
I am so excited that I am feeling good today! I cleaned the kitchen and then sat down to enjoy some knitting...its an early night, I am going to bed to watch an episode of Merlin!